gasping, panting, groaning.

the crunch of Bata shoes on gravel.

ankles hurting.

back straining.

fingers crumbling.

To serve.

a silent bond that binds us all.

no words needed. held together.

all in the same parcel, same boat, same journey.

wordless encouragement,

concerned eyes.

a link so strong nothing can break it.

through water, rain, thunder, lightning and pain.

move one foot up, put the other one down.

To strive.

quiet words whispered by our ears,

silent laughter,

smiling eyes.

accompanied by cool breezes and scorching sun.

a dog barks,

its tail wags,

chasing after sunbeams and blue bagpacks.

slowly now, slowly.

one rung at a time.

sweat runs down shaking backs,

muscles stretch,

swear words muttered.

And not to yield.

do not discount yourself.

--By Yue Lin

Dedicated to Hillary Watch.

I have several pieces of thread tied to my bag. The one that means the most to me right now is a piece of twine that is still wrapped around my wrist. This is the piece of twine that saw me through the sea expedition, it is also the piece of twine that i carried about with me for the rest of the Outward Bound Singapore camp. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded of Hillary, the best watch ever, my introverted instructor Gideon and his silly stuffed toy; Giddi Jr.

I must say I had alot of fun; however, to write every little happening that occured there (and there were alot) would be to stay at the computer or at my table until tomorrow morning, at the very least.

Anyway, I went to OBS determined not to care about hygiene or bothering much about keeping clean. To me, that was the best way to have fun, because, after all, like they said, OBS is not a resort, is it? After day one, I more or less got what I wanted and became rather dirty.

Anyway, nothing much happened on the first day. We had the usual introductions, and it was also here that Gideon confessed he would much rather be in Dormitory than Mobile! When we asked him why, he told us it was more relaxed and we also got to shower and use the toilet more often. However, before he even got to finish, he was shot down and shouted at by fourteen voices who were all determined to show him that we could have fun and survive the Mobile camp at the same time! After this, we packed our things and hiked to Camp Two. It was around one kilometre long and was our first taste of what the other four days would be like. At first, we were not used to the bags at all, and some people in my watch could barely stand up after they had put their bags on! We did not really complain though, because our bags would get heavier as the journey went on.

At Camp Two, we collected our equipment and did some auxillary things before heading to the beach to cook and pitch our tents. I made it a point to coat the inside and outside of my tent with mosquito repellent because I had heard from others how vicious the mosquitoes could be. After washing up, we went to the parade square to wait for Gideon's return from goodness knows where. We waited for around forty-five minutes before he came running in from the darkness. He had lost his clipboard on the way from Camp One to Two, and had run back in the dark to find it. Of course, he could have just left it, but he told us that then, we would be a watch without values, and he did not want that. We all thought it was rather thoughtful of him, especially since he was chased by wild boars and dogs on the way back! We had already forgiven him before he started apologising profusely.

In the morning, Shar, Chris and myself (we were tent-mates), woke up at around 5 in the morning and took a stroll along the jetty to visit the sleeping instructors.

After a quick breakfast that would get smaller as the camp progressed (simply because we did not want to eat), we headed to the sea and learnt to kayak. We all had immense fun trying to perfect the back-paddle, stern rudder, brake and the basic forward stroke. We were also taught how to capsize and rescue. After this, we tugged our backpacks on once more and trekked back down to Camp One. Halfway there however, it began raining heavily, and by the time we got there, we saw that it was impossible to start a fire to cook. So, Gideon cooked for us! We pitched our tents in complete darkness that night, and because we could not see anything, frustrations ran high. A few people got rather irritated and began swearing and cursing. Thankfully, no serious arguments broke out and we managed to get our tents up before it was too late.

On day three, we hiked up to the quarry using a compass and a map. It was hard going, because we were all exhausted, and to make things worse, it began drizzling halfway through the hike! Although rain is nice when one is safe and dry at home, it is no joke to be out in the middle of nowhere carrying a backpack that weighs a tonne and tent bags that feel as if they contain gold bars! However, we somehow managed to reach the quarry and went there for a dip. It was here that I discovered my fear of jumping into water. Not diving, but just jumping. I did not even know that I had such a fear! Anyway, Gideon was extremely patient and kind, and just stood beside me and talked to me. He talked about how fear could not really be conquered, because it would always be there, but it could be managed, and how he also did alot of things with fear as well. Somehow, he managed to get me to jump in, and once I did, I was surrounded by my friends who had all been in the water encouraging me. It was also here that I realised how important encouragement was, and I was soon to learn how much comfort and concern could mean to someone as well.

That night, we had dinner by the beach; it was beautiful, and our watch began singing while the food was cooking. Later, Gideon dropped by and sampled some of our noodles.

On day four, we went on our sea expedition. We were to kayak around Ubin to get back to Camp Two. Hillary went with Da Ga Ma (our buddy watch), and after a bit of dithering, we set off. It was pretty much smooth-sailing all the way, except that storm clouds began gathering when we neared Camp Two, and one of my friends was pushed further and further out to sea because of the strong winds and the fact that she did not know how to control her kayak properly. We were all extremely worried about her, but with the instructors' help, she managed to beach up safely.

It was here that I learnt the importance of concern; the second she beached up, she began sobbing, and we got her out of her kayak and comforted her. It must have been very traumatising for her, and I think she was extremely brave for going through it all.

A few moments after we had beached up, it started raining heavily, so much so that we could barely see what was in front of us, and the instructors told us to head for shelter while they went to the beach to pull the kayaks in some more so that they would not drift away. Jon (instructor of Da Ga Ma) made us all milo with coffee, and we played silly games to pass the time. That night, we pitched our tents in darkness (again), but by then, we were used to it already, and did not really mind. We sat beneath the flying fox that Gideon told us we did not have time to do, cooked and talked. Gideon came and joined us for dinner, and, miracle of miracles; he finally laughed! Gideon is either a very serious person by nature, or just a serious instructor, but of all the instructors there, he was the one who laughed the least. Not that he was strict; he was just serious, and quiet, and there. Since it was our last night together as a watch, we had wanted to do something together, but Gideon could see most were already rather tired, and shooed us off to wash up and 'do the dishes' almost immediately after we had finished eating. That night, Shar and I were not feeling tired yet, so we sat outside on the steps and wrote in our journals, aided by a small torch. It reminded me of the olden times, when they did not have many electrical lights; it was rather fun, actually. We scribbled away for about an hour before Gideon appeared to check if we were all asleep; of course, we weren't! I could distinctly hear singing coming from the tents. On his way back down, he reminded us not to sleep too late and left us to our writing. All was quiet, until Shar suddenly looked up and saw two dogs coming up the flight of stairs. She has a phobia of dogs, and also some sort of ESP when it comes to dogs. She called to me and the two of us grabbed what we could and dashed to our tents. Later, we realised that we had left our shoes outside, and I slipped back out to get them. We continued writing in the semi-darkness, and I must say, I have never experienced that sort of feeling before. It was so quiet, I could hardly hear anything, just the scratch of pen on paper and occasional comments from either Shar or myself, and barks of a dog from afar. It was so strange, to be in the middle of nowhere, writing on pieces of paper, and feeling completely at home, and floating away like a bird gliding through the starry night.

The next day, I was awoken by my watch member yelling for someone to go to the toilet with her, then by someone (probably Shar) telling me it was 6 in the morning. That morning, it being the last morning, we were allowed to sleep in a little. After packing, we set off to Camp One. I realised it was the last day that Hillary was going to be together, and a wave of sadness overcame me. Although I knew we would see each other again in school, it would not be the same. At OBS, we were somehow able to more or less forget our acts and our 'cliques', and just truly be ourselves. But back in school, the restrictions would come back into place again, the stifling silence, and it would again be different.

Hillary was one of the first watches to reach Camp One. We went to the Hall and sat in a circle, as we had always done for the past five days. Gideon passed Giddi Jr around, and we had a moment of reflections and talking. It was great to hear that so many people had managed their fears and scaled so many heights; I felt so proud of everyone. Later, we signed Gideon's book and stuck our photo inside. We left him an extremely long group message, and signed off. It was rather funny though; because we were rushed by the other instructors, I was left to copy the OBS address and his email down before gathering up his 'cheap' pens any old how and stuffing everything into his hands rather breathlessly.

One thing I noticed about Hillary in comparison with the rest of the watches is that we're quieter, somehow. We weren't as loud, but in the end, we were amongst the most bonded of the watches. We did not play any rowdy games or anything (although shan did shower Gideon with talcum powder on day four), but we just felt closer, somehow. Our friendships were formed on encouragement and silent words. I felt we were unique in the sense that we did not need loud cheers and 'military leaders' to lead us. A little cajoling here and there, a little nudging, and the entire watch understood. None of us had to shout. Gideon did not raise his voice in all of the five days, and none of the ics had to shout either. We just cooperated. I don't know, but the way I see it, Hillary was different because the way we bonded was very different from the other watches, and yet somehow, at the end of the day, I still feel close to my watch members. OBS is an experience I will never forget. I would really like to go back again; I learnt so much it's impossible to put it all down into words. I truly learnt alot, and I definitely could not have learnt any of this in a classroom. OBS has made me more determined to scale every mountain (I know it sounds cliche, but that's because it's true), to cross every ocean and to really do my best in everything. I know it's all been repeated before, and I know you're tired of hearing of the same old thing over and over again, but there's no better way to put it.

It's cliche precisely because there's a grain of truth in it; and this time, it's a golden grain of truth that I am going to try and adhere to for the rest of my life.

'You cannot discover new oceans until you lose sight of the shore.'

'I do alot of things with fear as well; it's all in the mind. Fear can't be conquered, but it can be managed. You've done far more difficult things than this before. You climbed so high up; this is nothing compared to what you did just now. You can do this.'--Gideon

This memory will never fade..

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