'I think the most beautiful people in the world are sitting in this courtyard now.'--Heather Chi.

I think that that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to a group of one hundred and thirty odd people. And that, really is a fitting summary of Farewell. Secondary Four Farewell was a few days back, the result of a week of mind-numbing, emotionally draining hard work that was all worth it in the end.

This year's Farewell had more meaning to it, somehow, probably because I was actually involved in the planning and implementation of it this time. I tell you, it felt good to see the Secondary Fours enjoying themselves, and seeing everything finally bear fruit after weeks of worry and frustration.

Also, something unique about this year's Farewell: we had a video and slideshow! They were both put together and edited by Lyn, Michelle and I, and honestly, it was absolutely hilarious seeing all the Sec 4s turn red as their faces appeared on the screen during the video. I know I had quite a bit of fun making it, even if it did mean staying up until unholy hours of the morning for the three days prior to the Farewell, having to somehow sketchily study for a Chinese test while editing the movie, and have two teachers stop me along the corridor and during lesson time to ask if I was getting enough sleep. One thing that I am eternally grateful for is Ms. Tan's laptop's wonderful iTunes that had all the old songs I could have wished for. I know I must have gone through her entire playlist at least five or six times during one night. But, I did not mind, really, I didn't. And why?

Because it made all the difference to me that the Sec 4s enjoyed themselves so much, and laughed so much, and that the video brought back many fond memories.

Later, the Sec 2s and 3s performed their items; we both did a song and dance item, except that the Sec 2s were far more polished and practised compared to us. No matter, both items were very well received by the Sec 4s, and any mistakes that we had made were not spotted. Another personal first for me this year was that I actually participated in the dance item. Sec 4 Guides who know me well were quite surprised as they did not expect me to join in the dance item (read: I am not known for dancing.), but, I must admit that I enjoyed myself tremendously while dancing.

Of course, after that, there was the usual present exchange amongst the Sec 4s and other Guides. I still have not cleared my table yet; it is quite cluttered, and surrounding me are a few small trinkets and presents, like little guardian angels. I have tried my best to make use of all the little presents that I have been given: I'm fiddling with Heather's necklace as I write, Genna's rock is quite happy as a colourful paperweight, Kah Mun's magnet is perched prettily on my whiteboard, Elizabeth's test tube has the seat of honour in my pencil holder, Glori and Sam's badge hangs off my bookshelf, Peiying's cookies, Yixin's chocolates and Liling's sweets are keeping each other warm in the fridge, Emilia, Jackie and Sam's pair of ankle socks have been worn and 'broken in', so to speak, Charmaine's flower has a flowerpot in the form of an unused poster, Angeline's keychain has been played with and fingered (a little too enthusiastically...), Joy's little corked bottle of joy enjoys a seat beside Genna's stone, Alicia's bottle stands guard next to them (no ants yet!) and Soongfee's lovely cup is currently being used. Oh yes, Des' large cookie satisfied my hunger in the wee hours of dawn after Farewell. I must thank her for saving me from possible starvation.

During their speeches, surprisingly, no one cried. But all the Sec 4s were awfully sweet and thoughtful; many also sent messages to the Sec 3s later, thanking them for the 'best Farewell ever' to quote directly.

I thought this year's Farewell was beautiful, and I do know I'll miss them all when they leave at the end of the year. I'll just only realise it when they aren't there anymore on Saturday mornings with their grins and silly jokes... they must all be thanked for making Guides so much more interesting and for brightening up our lives so much. Especially some people.

Heather was right, that night (and every day), the most beautiful people in the world were sitting in that courtyard, they were you, Sec 4s, every one of you.

Good luck in whateer you do, and thank you for your silly jokes, weird ways, encouragement, smiles, advice, listening ears and love.

.....

the delicate soft

sprays surround you,

gentle cushions, the

softest rays of the sun.

captured and held in

these buds of mourning

that have opened

to shower their radiance

upon the room.

Though this light

pales

in comparison to

you,

that serene face

that now resides in a memory,

always ready to smile, laugh and give,

sent peacefully to

majestic gates high in the

sky

surrounded by soothing chords of

many hymns

whispers of encouragement and

tears

that will not be shed,

yet.

--By Yue Lin, 'untitled'.

Dedicated to Auntie Kim.

I have been to three funerals in my entire life, and this one was, by far, the saddest and most moving.

Auntie was everyone's favourite Auntie, colleague, friend, human, listener. One man's wife. Whatever you call her, whatever you knew her by, we all knew her bubbly personality and cheery outlook of life. She lived a brilliant, fulfilling life, and I think what is most amazing about her is that even while she was in hospital, she was always incredibly cheerful.

In spite of being on morphine and being in incredible pain, she was always smiling and talking. In fact, she always asked after the health and well being of her visitors before she worried about herself. Even when she could no longer talk, there was always this air of serenity around her, an aura of peace and security.

In fact, most of the time, we were more worried about my uncle than my auntie. He had spent most of his adult life with this one, amazing woman, and now, she was leaving him. What would he do? We were worried that he would not be able to cope, would miss her too much, would get too lonely....

The funeral and wake were held at the Parlour of Repose, St. Joseph's Church. I was brought to see her; she looked very beautiful and so very peaceful, almost as if she were only fast asleep. My uncle had received so many wreaths from so many people that there was not enough space in the Parlour itself and some wreaths had to be moved outside. On the third night, family members from my uncle's side were given time to read our eulogies. My Father, brother and I spoke about her unwavering fighting spirit, her smiles, her care, the way she doted on us, and the way she had lit up our lives. Then my uncle stepped up. He gave a very moving speech. He spoke about how Auntie had always had a premonition that she would die before him, and whenever he asked her about retirement plans, she would tell him to take one day at a time and not to worry. He told us about how she had had a fulfilling and beautiful, bountiful life, about her acceptance of Christ as her personal saviour, about her faith, her strength and kindness. About how he'd miss her. He hit a chord there; we would all miss her, very, very dearly.

Throughout the wake, her favourite hymns and songs were played. On the fourth day, we followed the hearse out of the church. I have never, in my life, felt so anguished and absolutely, utterly miserable.

Later, at the Mandai Crematorium, I felt even worse. The priest conducted a short service and invited my uncle up to the podium to speak. He spoke of my auntie, and how much he loved her, and how she had been the centre of his life for so long. It was obvious to many of us that he loved her very, very much, and that his love for her was the sort that would last all eternity. His tearful words moved many of us to tears as well, and at the viewing hall where we watched her coffin being wheeled to the furnace, many of her sisters (she had eleven siblings) broke down and wailed. We were all extremely upset, and, well, it is impossible to describe that feeling. It was deeper than sadness and ran further than just simple mourning. It was the cry of the anguished......

Many of us have holes in our lives; she was more than a friend, an auntie who never forgot me on her holidays. No, she was more than that. She was an angel to many, many people.

But I suppose we will pick ourselves up again, like my uncle is trying to do (we eat dinner with him to keep him company), though, right now, we still have to adjust.

I still need to get used to her not being there anymore at Chinese New Year, always offering food, grins and jokes. Always a light in our lives. I still get teary whenever I think of her; heck, I'm tearing now, thinking of everything that has happened, all in one week.

Things happen quickly, fly past you, leaving you no time to get your shoes on, no time to prepare, they just happen.

But I guess we can all take comfort in the knowledge that she is in Heaven now, enjoying the luxuries and beauty of Heaven, and I know she is watching over us all, now truly our Angel.

They said that when she went, she smiled at them all, four times. That is amazing. That is what I admire her for, I really don't know where she found the strength to smile when she had not eaten for about two weeks and had not really opened her eyes properly for some time. She was an amazing woman, a brilliant, determined person, and we all loved her for her tenacious and joyful spirit.

Auntie Kim, you are very much loved, now go and take your place amongst the Angels of Heaven. Don't worry about us, we will manage. Rest in peace.

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